This I Believe

Denetria - lexington, Kentucky
Entered on December 5, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: integrity

I believe in honesty and trust. Honesty is what makes people grow closer and builds trust among each other, whether it is a relationship with a family member, a close friend, or a boy/girl friend. I believe honesty and trust can affect a person’s life and how others perceive them, especially in a close relationship. Honesty plus trust equals healthy relationships.

I was once in a relationship where at one point there was no honesty, which therefore led to no trust. First, he began to lie about little things, such as text messages and phone calls that were in his cell phone. Then he began to lie about where he would go at night and whom he would be with while out partying. He began coming in at all hours of the night began to make me suspicious of his behavior and I began to question, can I trust him? Almost every time he would tell a lie, I could figure out that it was a lie, or drill him until he told me the truth. Going through these situations soon led to an in secure relationship. With him being so dishonest all of the time, I began to question things that he was really telling the truth about. I soon could not tell if he was really being honest with me or not all because in the past he had lied about the same things. The dishonesty and no trust soon led to arguments, which eventually ruined our two-year relationship. We talked our situation over and he came out with the truth that he was not ready to be in a relationship and committed to one girl. As he told me that, I could feel my heart drop down to my stomach in disbelief. I appreciated him being honest, but I believe that he could have told me that from the start of our relationship before it got to a level of seriousness. This event in my life is one reason why I have became so obsessed with being honest and having trust in my relationships. I was always honest with him and that is why I thought he was being the same way with me. I was being honest and had so much trust in him, which made my feelings for him grow deeper and deeper, and eventually made it harder for me to just let go and move on even though I knew I deserved so much better.

My whole life I have tried to live being honest to every person that I consider special to me only because honesty is what makes people consider you a reliable person and makes people consider you a good person to be around and comfortable with. With honesty comes trust, and I want the people I consider special to be able to trust me no matter what the situation is. I want to have healthy relationships with people I can trust and with people who can trust me. I do not regret a single thing that I went through with this guy. We have been through a lot and I still love him dearly, but I have come to a conclusion that it is not meant for us to be together at this point in time. I know that life is full of lessons and this was just one to add to the list.