I believe crying alone is good self therapy. I am a leader in this large world of followers. I have to be strong for all of those around me, I have to be strong even when I am at my breaking point, no matter what. I am the thick steal rod that is depended on to hold a the hundreds of tiny rods together. Weather it be with my husband and 3 children, my pre-kindergartners, my pre-kindergartners parents, my before and afterschool students, their parents, my staff and the things that go on in their liver, my friends, who all for some reason some to me to fix all of their problems in life. Then there is me. I have all of my problems that I feel need to be taken care of lastly in my life. Things must be kept sain in order to keep my world turning.
Then when no one is looking mostly at a time when my breaking point is 3 steps away, I let my thick wall fall. The wall that allows me to not show emotion of weakness, the wall that protects me from the sadness of the world. When I let the stone wall fall, the flood gates are opened, I cry for all of the pain I endure and all of the pain others endure. I only cry for a few minutes, after it all I feel as if my soul has been cleansed and the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders. My last step is to pray. I pray to my higher power to make me stronger, for I have many who depend on me to hold them up in this world.
Is it right that I should have to feel this way, depends on how you look at. I enjoy it. I helps me put my pain in another place for another day. Yes, yes I know we are not supposed to bottle out feeling up, but it works for me, they come out in a clean way my way. I am not angered or stressed, I am always great. You will always see me with a smile on my face, you will never know the ancored pains that sometimes make me cry alone. For me this works, crying alone is great self therapy, it heals me and I am able to move on with my day. Crying alone maybe its what I do best to take the pain of the daily world away.
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