God speaks to us in different ways, but for me, he speaks to me through my tears.
Ever since I was a little girl, there were times when I would cry, and nothing would be wrong with me at the point in time. I think it started when I realized I would never have the perfect family existence every little kid wished they had. But I accepted it and grew out of it, because I realized that my parents were completely different and it would have never worked, but they loved me very dearly. So why do I still tear up from time to time?
I grew up without ever having the chance to see them together. When I was six my father moved to the United States, leaving me with my mother in Dominica, which is where I’m from. It wasn’t as bad as it sounds because I visited him every summer, never missing one, till I was sixteen when I decided to live in the United States. Even though my parents weren’t together I was still a happy little girl and I still am. So in the beginning I never understood why I still cried. Now that I’m older it’s starting to get clearer to me.
Some think of crying as being therapeutic. It’s not only therapeutic for me but a light. One would think that I cry because I’m depressed or I’m holding on to something in the past that hurt me very deeply, but that is not the case. I could be sitting by myself reflecting on things, reading something inspiring or listening to inspirational music, when I feel something quite unexplainable stir up within me and reveal itself as warm comforting tears. After I cry I think about all the things and situations in my life I can improve. I believe that it is God speaking to me because my tears always encourage me to change and make those improvements. They are not tears of sorrow or tears of regret; they are tears of hope, tears of joy, tears of trust, trust in him, because he comforts me and let me know that things are only going to get better. My tears are his gift to me. This I believe.
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