This I Believe

Nicki - Boulder, Colorado
Entered on December 2, 2007

I believe that people can change. That one night my life changed, my world was altered for good. My brother had mood seizures and we never knew what the next mood might be. Soon after he started doing drugs and the seizures started getting worse with no explanation. During this time my stepdad had a heart attack. He had to have quintuple bypass surgery. I wish I could tell you that this was the worst but I would be lying.

After a few months I thought that he was getting better and changing but I was wrong. That fateful night he had a really bad seizure and with the drugs he was doing it was intensified. He was angry, really angry. He was yelling and cursing at everyone. Then he went to his room, grabbed a baseball bat and came back out. He went for my stepdad but my mom interfered. She got in-between them, screamed and yelled. Anything to try and stop him. Almost jumping on him to get him to put the bat down, she was yelling for about ten or fifteen minutes. Yet it felt like an eternity that I was hiding in the corner of my dining room crying and yelling at him. Then suddenly he turned, looked at me then stormed to his room and out of the house. I stayed in that corner, crying & shaking, till the police came. Questions were asked and papers were filled out and then the cops where out searching for him. But my grandma rescued him against my mom’s will. She refused to let him go to jail, even if he had just tried to kill his stepdad. My grandma and I knew he could change.

No matter how hard I try to forget, my life changed that night. It was hard at the age of 12 to lose your older brother, the only one I could ever turn to, the one I ran to for help. I no longer had my “protector”. It was like losing a best friend. It was and still is really hard knowing that every birthday that passes, every single holiday that goes by I won’t have my brother there with me wishing me the best. But I believe that people can change. And he tried, he tried his hardest. He started taking night classes at a high school and “graduated”, I guess you could say. I still don’t get to see him as much as I would like now a days, but it’s better. Now he is at a community college and doing better. But now being 2000 miles away instead of 2 hours things seem to go back to the way they used to be. I still never got to see him except when I’m in town. And this is only if I’m lucky. But for now this is how things will be have to be. I have no control. Five years later, I still and always will believe people can change. My brother proved that to me after that night. He’s a better person now.