This I Believe

In a feeble attempt to prove to myself what is right and what is wrong, I am too often consumed in a concept seldom portrayed by actions. I walked eight blocks to church every Sunday when I was ten years old not really knowing why. I cursed at what I was given not really knowing why. And I considered myself fine not really knowing why.

Never have I studied a species that kills itself more than any other outside predator. As I was answering the phone from an anonymous number, I noticed myself asking who the other person was before even saying, “Hello,” or introducing myself. Although I agree that human survival skills are prevalent, I fathom a time when I will no longer be skeptical of those who I am not familiar with. For me this goal is like trying to touch the sun. One I will never be near the sun since if I do it will be way too hot for me to physically bear. And two if I do touch the sun it will engulf me in its fiery. Nations have exhibited this goal with trying to become a hegemonic power, underlying the main cause of why they want the power in the first place. Once a nation finally reaches its hegemonic power it will no longer be able to sustain its responsibility no does it feel it should. It seems incredibly disturbing that no one nation can come to terms with another without the use of violence. Although it is innately put into humans beings to settle issues in a very inhumane way, humans are nevertheless weak to their own emotions.

As nations toil over power and as human beings toil over success and greed I find myself even more confused as to what my future brings. Even adults in all their so called infinite wisdom have not figured out what Buddhist call enlightenment otherwise known as the pinnacle of life’s treat. I have never known who is right and who is wrong, and in fact I will never know, but I choose to live life by what my conscious tells me and overall it is the basis of what I have come to know what is real. My longing to become safe is truly something I strive for, but in my efforts to become safe I know I will miss out on life in general. There is no way in telling if what I am now will prove to be what I am later, but my conception of the world becomes increasingly worrisome. When I watch the news with all its turmoil, I realize that I am no longer watching the glorification of life but rather the bitter end, death. No matter what religion, no matter the lack of religion there is a common finality that consumes all human beings. Whether or not my views on the world become better as I progress in life there is too often a saying that I feel is becoming the motto of my life. The overabundance of grueling mental workouts, consisting of death, and more death surrounding the news and current articles, I can’t help but think why and what humanity thinks of itself.