Mind Your Feelings.
I believe in the power of the mind. My mind allows me to be who I am and become who I want to become. It can help hide me or it can make me visible to others. My mind can protect me from emotional pain, but it can also trap me in a mental jail cell, lonely, paralyzing me in fear of pain. The mind can do incredible things to raise my emotions, but it can also do terrible things to silence them. I think the power of my mind is limitless. It does whatever it needs to for balance. The mind has that power.
A great example of what the mind can do, can be seen in the middle of my junior year in high school, when my family and I moved from Chicago to Austin. While I was in Chicago, I felt pretty good about life, not great, but not bad at all, balanced. Most teenagers that transfer to a different high school are heart-poundingly worried about making friends in their new environment. I myself was among those worried ones. Unfortunately, I was also one of the kids that did not make many friends. I was a shy guy moving from a place where I was unconditionally liked, even if I did not talk that much, to a place where I was ignored, maybe even perceived as arrogant, unless I spoke. There were days that were hard to get through, days that I actually counted the words I spoke aloud, barely reaching one-hundred let alone the 16,000 words that average males speak. Not to mention school work was much more grueling and even the girls gave me less eye flutters and instead cold, emotionless looks. School in Austin was joyless. My mind and my emotions were my only companions, both on either side of me on a mental seesaw, looking for balance.
In a time of ups and downs my mind took control. My mind’s thoughts, my thoughts, changed the way I felt. Although I did not have many friends to talk with or eat lunch with I did not need to feel worthless. It was really just an immediate emotional response to ostracization. My mind managed my emotions so that I could see that I did not have to feel bad if I did not have friends. My mind let me see more clearly that even if I had more friends in my new school then I probably would not have wanted to say much to them anyway. My mind changed me to feel that if I do not feel like talking then I am not going to talk. My mind allowed me to manage my emotions in time when my balance was tipped. It let me see that even though I am shy, I am who I am, and I will continue to be who I am until I decide to change myself. Our mind’s can change our feelings. We have that power.
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