This I Believe
I have often struggled in my life with the thought that I am not good enough. Being a teenage girl is hard. I always believed that my friends were better looking than I was. I always felt like I should be skinnier, prettier; that I should be shorter, have better clothes, that I should just look different. I always played sports, but I was never the best. Coaches always picked me for their teams because I looked athletic, and was intimidating because I was 5’10” as a freshman in high school. I was never an A student in school. I never got Ds or Fs, but I was an average, solid B. I never wrote papers that where given 100%, and never got an A+. Nothing special. And that was how I always felt. My sister and my father are brilliant artists. They can both paint pictures so realistic and draw so truthfully it will take your breath away. My mother is so athletic it is scary; she is 50 years old and continues to run 5 miles a day, and she also looks better than most women half her age. I never felt like I had that one thing that set me apart. I felt as though I blended in. Faded into the background. I wouldn’t say I was depressed, I would say that I was apathetic to my own life. This was fine. I had fun with friends, did what I thought I was supposed to do, and generally was unsatisfied. It wasn’t until my sophomore year in college that I realized that something had to change. It was as if I didn’t care about anything. I made a list one day of things that I cared about, took a look at where I wanted my life to go in the future, changed my major, my attitude, and my whole life. I wish that I could say that there was some life-changing event, something earth shattering that happened to me, but there wasn’t. I just came to the conclusion one day that my life was what I make it. It is me, and me alone who has control over how my life turns out. I realized that instead of looking at my life in terms of what I didn’t have, or who I wasn’t, I needed to look at the positives, who I am, what I am capable of achieving. This made the biggest difference in my life. I realized that I am funny, smart, a good friend, good at teaching, and I have so much potential. It sounds silly, but after I changed the way I thought about myself it changed my life. Every day, everyone is dealing with insecurities and self-doubt, but if you just get up enough courage to tell yourself that you are a worthy person you can change who you are and you can change your future. I believe in being true to yourself. I believe in positive thinking. I believe in making the best of every day, and finding happiness in everything you do. Most of all, I believe in myself.
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