Mistakes = Self- realization

Nicole - Castroville, Texas
Entered on November 29, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30

I believe that the biggest mistakes, even the worst, sure beat the hell out of never trying. I try and live my life by this simple logic because a lot of good things came from my mistakes. I have grown into who I am today by believing in making mistakes.

I decided a while back I never wanted to look into my past and wonder what if? The lurking question many people are haunted by, but not me. There have been so many mistakes that I should have thought more about before committing them, and even if the consequences ruined my life at the moment, I always become a better person afterward. Many of my mistakes were in the name of “love”, or what I thought was love at the time. I am a hopeless romantic, on an ever seeking quest for the purest love. One quest ended 70 mph into a guard rail: according to paramedics and police, I should have been killed or paralyzed on the spot, but I survived. I did however send the guard rail flying into oncoming traffic, luckily no one was hurt. With body intact, I had to face my parents. I had fallen asleep at the wheel driving home on New Year’s Eve from Houston. I had just turned 18, barely had my license 3 weeks, and was suppose to be in San Antonio. The bruises and sore back was like getting hit by a fluffy bunny compared to the disappointed I had caused in my parents. There were many tears and a house arrest for me until April, but not looking back I would not have changed a thing. How can I want to take back something that helped me transform from an irresponsible child to a blossoming young adult who needed to learn to take care of herself. My four months of imprisonment let me get a lot of thinking in. I came to realize that love is not what I had found, it was a naïve notion that butterflies and crazy ambition substantiated a long lasting relationship. Although knowing that then, still has not stopped me from diving in head first into a new love all over. Also, despite all my resistance towards my parents, they were right about many of my life choices. Their love is what continues to save me through all my great mistakes.

So through this coming of age tale, I want to beg of you that fearing making mistakes so much it prevents you from living is the biggest mistake of all. Fall down, get dirty, get hurt, and grow while picking yourself back up.