If I can change, then so can you!

Courtney - San Diego, California
Entered on November 28, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30

Approximately two years ago towards the end of my junior year at San Diego State University, it happened. I asked her if she was interested in me, and she said no. It was the worst pain I had ever felt in my twenty-one years of existence. I had never known the pain of heartache. For the first month and a half of the summer of 2006, I sulked, whined, and moped at the very mentioning of her name.

She carries herself just like my sister. She is a true lady. This prompted me to ask my sister why something like this would happen. All she told me was that “Anything worthwhile is worth working for.” Then I remembered, she is a Christian, better yet, she is a strong Christian woman, who knows her worth and has great expectations in a man. After all, she carries herself just like my sister.

After I cried all my tears, and could no longer whine any more, I began to ask myself “Why did this happen?” After thinking about that question for a few days, I began to ask myself “Could it be something about my character?” “Umm… yes!” For the first time I could see just how sinful I was. How could this be? “I too am a Christian.” Did I really act like it in everything that I do? The answer was no. Well no wonder she said no. This event is what prompted me to take my first “honest” look at myself, and made me want to change. I did not want to do this because I wanted to get the woman, but I wanted to conduct myself with the correct character in the eyes of God. Because knowing that I am a man of Christ knows that I am called on to, hold myself to a higher standard of character. My walk, my talk, and my actions should be in accordance with the bible. Until then I am not prepared to handle a relationship with a strong Christian woman. This is why I believe that sometimes it takes something terrible to happen to you before you can change yourself for the better.

I believe that everyone has that desire to want to do good in their lives. That doing something for something else truly does put a smile on their hearts, even if they are not presently showing it on their faces. Despite all the evil that one has done in a lifetime, there is still that craving to do something good. Sometimes it takes something terrible to happen to you: A death to a loved one, a car accident, or in my case, being rejected by a lady. Physical pain or emotional pain, it all hurts the same. I do not know if I will ever get the lady, but I for sure will not quit until God tells me “she isn’t the one.” However, I do know it is at the time when you feel like the lowest thing on earth is when you find God, who has been waiting for you all along, to follow his son and change your life. This I truly believe. God Bless y’all.