The Memory of Love is Lost and Found

Kylee - Ames, Iowa
Entered on November 19, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: death, family, legacy

I believe that memory is never lost, even when it seems to be; it will always have more to do with the heart than the mind.

At the age of ten I believed my father would make it through the rough times of cancer. As I lay next to him in the hospital bed watching the Super Bowl game on January 30th, 2000, I remember looking at him and him looking back at me I could tell he was struggling, suffering, and wishing it would be someone else. As he gripped my hand I then knew it was him telling me a goodbye. I believed the Lord would heal him in a way no one would ever believe. If anyone had the power of saving him I feel it would be the Lord. God had the most power in saving him, and helping him heal. I knew I couldn’t but someone would. As I turned my life to the Lord and asked him for forgiveness and asking him to help me get through this rough time in my life, I remember getting this feeling that it wasn’t going to happen.

When the time came I believed God’s choice of taking him was the best. I know he had better plans for him than to watch him be in pain and suffering through life.

Unable to rescue my father from cancer, I was determined to save him not from dying but being forgotten. I believe my father has and never will be forgotten. I not only can talk to him, but I know he is walking in the steps that I take every day. He is there watching over me, as he always was making sure I’m safe and not in harm. In my spirit he is still here, maybe not physically, but the memory of him is still here and always will be. Even when the day comes to walk his two little girls down the aisle for them to get married, he will be arm and arm with us walking down to the alter still saying “ I Do”, when the priest asks us who the one is that gives us to our man.

Later I learned that memory was never lost it has a will of its own. You can’t control it any more than you can influence the weather outside. When it springs up, a person loved and lost is found, if only for a few seconds.