This I Believe

Kenna - Centennial, Colorado
Entered on November 18, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death, family

A Spirit of Love

“I love you more,” those were my four favorite words to hear out of my grandpa’s mouth before he passed away. I didn’t get to see my grandpa a lot because he didn’t live in Colorado until two years before he died; and still I only saw him four times a year. For some reason though, I can still feel is cuddly hugs, the song “An Itty Bitty Bug” that we’d sing together, and the sound of his voice. That is why I believe that my Grandpa is always watching me and is beside every step of the way.

My grandpa died on April 21, 2006. This was extremely sad to me because I hadn’t seen him since January and he never saw my dance solo; the music I had selected was one of his favorite songs. I thought that since I hadn’t seen him for four months I wouldn’t be able to picture his face. Then one night I had a dream about my grandpa. He asked to dance with me because he never got a chance to see me dance. I saw his face, his big comfy belly, and everything. Right than I had an instinct that he was with me in my heart! Also, two weekends after he passed away was my biggest dance competition of the year; which he was supposed to attend and watch. My solo was to his favorite song “Mary Did You Know”. Usually before I go on stage I get really worked up, extremely nervous, and then I mess up my dance. That time though, I went on stage with a tear running down my face and with the thought of how my grandpa was supposed to be there. So, I whispered in a prayer, “Grandpa this is for you.” Suddenly, all my fears of performing went away and I felt serenity. I had never received a first on my solo before that night either. I knew that was because my grandpa had been sitting in the audience watching me and smiling. He would have told me how beautiful my dance was and how graceful I looked. Any performance I do now I say those exact words to let my grandpa know he is in my heart and that I know he is watching me.

Even though, he never saw me turn into a teenager, get braces, hear about my eighth grade trip to Washington D.C., go to high school, see me in my poms uniform, or see me in my pictures of homecoming, I believe that he was actually watching me from a front row seat. I feel that he is very proud and loves me very much, just like my other family members. That is why I feel so blessed to have my grandpa in my heart forever and not just in my mind. That is why I believe my grandpa is watching over me and stands beside me in all I do!