I Believe in Love and Hope
It was one of the last days of summer, a perfect beautiful day with bright blue skies and a soft breeze. I was filled with the excitement of starting high school in a few days, and contentment of a wonderful summer. I walked home from a long day at the pool humming and smiling. Life was perfect.
With hair dripping, I opened my front door. My mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner, my dad was grilling hamburgers, and my siblings were setting the table. My mom didn’t greet me with her usual warm smile and my dad’s eyes were missing their usual twinkle. Instead of the familiar laughter and conversation, an unsettling quiet filled the space between the walls. Something was terribly wrong.
“Your mom has cancer.” My dad had trouble speaking as he gazed around at us. My mother looked so helpless in her chair as the tears flooded out of her eyes. My heart slowly stopped beating and my world began to collapse as I was filled with fear. My beautiful mom who was my best friend, who helps me through my problems, who always encourages me to follow my dreams, and who I love so much…could die.
Tears streamed down my face as memories with my mom flooded into my head. Memories of us singing together, laughing, and talking. My heart ached as I realized I might not have any more of those memories. Why did this happen? Why God? I don’t understand why did you do this to my mom? She has done nothing to deserve this!
Our dinner plates remained half eaten as my family sat and cried in a silence only interrupted by sniffling. The coming darkness pushed away thoughts of the care free feeling of the bright blue skies. I didn’t think I would ever see those blue skies again.
“This is going to be a very hard time.” My dad’s voice pierced the heavy quiet, “But we must have faith and trust that God has a plan. We must be here to comfort one another and love each other. No matter what happens, we must never lose hope and must never stop smiling.”
So my family did. We kept on living and I went to high school. It was a struggle to keep smiling at times, however a new worth was added to my life; for I began treasuring every moment with my mom. I lived to show her how much I loved her and to help her smile too.
Though a heavy cloud of sadness, fear, and worry hung over our house, it was illuminated by a love and a hope that we all did our best to harbor in our hearts. I believe that hope and love carried me through my mom’s fight with cancer and brought me to where I am today; talking and laughing with my cancer-free mom over a cup of coffee.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.