I believe in secrets. Sharing, trading, discovering, making, and keeping … secrets.
I have mine. You have yours. We all have the ones that we carry forever. We have the ones that will sleep soundly inside us, when we are six feet underground. Secrets are the force that keeps us awake at night. They are the demons that haunt our dreams. They are the monsters under our beds and the skeletons in our closet. Secrets keep you human. Secrets are the key to your cage, the cage that you are too afraid to open.
When you cry at night, thinking about the abortion you had, the drugs that you did, the money you stole, the sex you had, the rules you broke, the lies you told… you feel the weight that secrets have. The boulders, the mountains of burden that they can be, they will weigh you down.
Forever and ever.
Secrets shape you. They are the pain that creates you. From clay you were born and of stone you will die. Secrets make you who you are. Your soul is first a jagged rock Secrets; they are the erosion that makes it smooth. Secrets are the scalpel that makes us perfect. Binding and breaking, they hold you together; they are the skin that covers you and the organs that keep you alive. When you take that key and open your cage, you are naked and vulnerable, spread open and apart, like butter… you are beautiful. You are free. The freedom, the joy that comes with confession… this is why we love secrets, and keep them. Once we set them free, we are free.
Hearing the secrets that I’ve heard from others… I’ll tell you that I have learned from them. I’ve heard funny ones, I’ve heard sad ones, and I’ve heard disturbing ones. My favorites are those of my friends. The company I keep never fails to astound me. One of whom gave LSD to his guinea pig. Another told her friends that she got wasted for her birthday, but really, she went to see a movie with her family. The ones that really keep me warm at night, they are my own. The fact that I see nothing wrong with peeing in bushes or that sometimes, I put friends before family. I would never take a bullet for anyone and I think Halloween is an excuse for girls to dress like sluts… it’s my favorite holiday. These are my little ones. Secrets, they are a part of who you are. They are the paint that adorns the mask you wear every single day. They are the golden thread that keeps our lives sewn together. Secrets our past and secrets are our future. Letting them go is the hardest part. Setting them free will open that cage and once the cage is open, you’ll be free too.
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