This I Believe

Mary - Chandler, Arizona
Entered on October 30, 2007

I believe that beliefs should change. A belief is just based on an assumption that comes from our perceptions and our past experience. This is not to say that I don’t value beliefs. I do. They help me make decisions. They help me live my life. In fact, I, lovingly, refer to my beliefs as Mary Theories. It’s just that as I have more experiences my beliefs change. As I meet more people my beliefs change to absorb them into the fabric of my belief structure. So if I tell you what I believe, I’m really only telling you what I believe right now.

What I believe isn’t original, it is made up in a million different ways by a million different influences that have already happened in my life. So I can’t give you a ‘This I believe’ but I can give you a ‘Now I believe’.

And now I believe that even though I’ve never known what I want to be when I grow up, I am grown up and all I want to be is me. The best me. What does best mean to me? It’s being attentive and open to change in everything I do and every role I play.

And now I believe that everyone is my favorite. How can anyone not be my favorite? Everyone is so unique and always contributes something so unique to my life. My husband is my favorite husband. (and he’s the only one I’ve had) My younger brother is my favorite. He’s my favorite brother-named-Luke. Completely irreplaceable. Each grandchild, my favorite

Now I believe that if I want to be the change I want to see in the world, I better start living my beliefs. Even as my beliefs change I need to keep living them. If I think the movies are getting too graphic, then I need to stop renting those movies. There are plenty of rating systems out there to help me. If I want to live in a friendly neighborhood where everyone knows each other, I need to spend some time reaching out to them and not just walking from my car to the front door with maybe a passing ‘Hi’

Now I believe that the only thing that has ever mattered to me was love and it has taken me this long to figure that out. I’ve also figured out that I can’t stay in that picking-daisies-in-a-green-meadow phase of love all the time. Love is paying attention and staying open to the possibility of the next moment. And it’s hard. Love is hard. Loving my job every day is hard. Loving my coworkers every day is hard. Loving my country every day is hard. But wow those days when I can sincerely live that love, that attentive openness, those days are amazing.

Now I believe that tomorrow I will have more experiences, and my beliefs will be different, IF I’ve looked at this new experience with love. And this I believe.