This I Believe

Lauren - Lonoke, Arkansas
Entered on October 30, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: death, family

Life Isn’t Always Fair

I believe that life isn’t always fair. For some people, life is never fair. That is the interesting thing about life: it’s random. Life doesn’t play favorites. It’s just the way it is. Things happen that we cannot fix or undo. Some things happen that you just can’t explain and you wonder why it had to happen. Life is crazy, you just learn to deal with it and keep living one day at a time. I realized this when my mother was taken away from me at the age of eleven.

My mother had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer in June of 1998. Everything in my life changed that year. We went from shopping, dance recitals, movies, and fun family activities to chemotherapy treatments because that was the method of treatment her and her doctors agreed upon. These treatments often made her sick and feel very weak. Even though the chemotherapy was helping, it still was not enough. The doctors thought it was necessary that she had a complete hysterectomy. Once my mom came out of the hysterectomy procedure she was greeted with friends and family which boosted her spirits up. A week later when my mom had to go back for a check-up she found out that the hysterectomy didn’t help. The cancer had already spread. As the days went on, my mom got sicker and sicker. She had been spending her time in the hospital and nothing was changing. She was soon put on bed rest in our house.

She was taken away around three o’clock in the morning Friday, May 9, 2000. My sister and I had stayed the night at my grandparent’s house. That night we were awoken by my father telling us to hurry and get up out of bed. On the way from grandma’s house to our house my sister and I kept trying to figure out what was going on. When we finally got to our house, my dad told us to tell my mother that we loved her and to say goodbye. At that point I had some idea of what was going on, but I was so young that it didn’t really sink in yet. My sister and I started to cry and we hugged our mom and told her that we loved her. That moment was the last time that I ever saw my mom again.

The next morning we were awoken by my Aunt Cindy telling us that she had passed away. My Aunt and dad asked us If we wanted to go to school or not, but I went because I just wanted to act like everything was okay and that nothing had happened. I didn’t want to be treated any differently than the other students it wasn’t fair that I had to go through something like this and they didn’t. I don’t like to be different or show my emotions to people. As I grew up, my friends soon realized the tragedy that had happened in my life. They stood by me, and never left my side. It really helped me make it through school. I liked my friends always being there but there were always random people that I went to school with trying to comfort me telling me it would be alright. How do they know they didn’t even know me or my family? I am very thankful to have my friends in my life. I also grew a lot closer to my sister. I started looking up to her. We knew that we needed to stick together. We knew we could count on each other no matter what was going on.

This misfortune in my life has made me realize many different things. I had to grow up a lot faster than all of the other kids my age. I really wasn’t ready for all the responsibility that was put upon me. I had to learn how my body worked without the help of my mother, how to get myself ready with matching clothes for school. There is a lot of things in a young girls life they need their mother for, and I was left to do it on my own. Everyone else still had their mom to cook, clean, and have talks with, to do all of the things that I learned on my own at the age of eleven. It just wasn’t fair, but it has made me a better person. It showed me not to take things or people for granted. That every day is a gift, you should treasure each and every moment you have.