This I Believe

“Autism; Good and Bad”

I believe in struggling and surviving with autism. Living a life as an autistic

woman can be full of struggles on life. However, there can be struggles

and improvements for an autistic person like myself. In my childhood years, my mom

had no idea what was with me, like I had a disorder that may be serious. I never knew

what was wrong with me either. I’ve done everything to enjoy my life as a child and

survived through confusion. I started to think that having autism was a harmful curse to

me because I mostly ended up having a lack of focus on reality and having many

imaginations from TV shows and video games I watch. I always thought that I was

completely normal until I began to learn more about my true past of things I never knew

about. When I was young, I pointed at everything I wanted without even speaking, and I

never talked for almost 6 years. The first time I ever talked was a quote from a Disney

movie called “101 Dalmatians” (“Lucky, Lucky get down.”). I always thought I was

normal like everyone else, but I have autism and nobody physically or mentally knew I

had it yet. If I was born as a normal child to a rich family, then nothing will be difficult

for me do to. But then I’ll be snotty, spoiled rotten, and always making everyone feels

miserable everyday. However, everyone with no disability has confusion parents, friends,

etc. who are willing to help people lead to a positive future like teaching them about life,

beating the odds, and bring good support for them. I’ve been living my autistic life when

I need as an autistic woman is tough when it’s one of those days of growing up. Still, I’m

struggling with my disability; even if I’m not noticing it, while I’m surviving my autistic

life with my hidden talent of creativity. Writing about my life as an autistic woman is

difficult for me. Even if it doesn’t reach out much, at least I tried to use my voice through

writing. It’s not easy for me because I never want people to listen to me for I have lack of

communication by speaking in a confusing way. I struggle to create my work perfectly

for everyone because I felt that everyone want something perfect from me. But, I realized

that everyone wants to listen to me, but more importantly to hear me so they can

appreciate me more.