This I Believe

Kayla - San Antonio, Texas
Entered on October 25, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, love

I believe there are some things you can never forget. You cannot tell where you are going unless you know where you have been.. Ones’ past is the determinate of their future, because in life the unforgettable moments both good and bad mold a person into their own unique being. And although life as well as time seems to pass fast, there are some things you can never forget.

When I was three, my “high-school sweet heart” parents divorced. My father was abusive towards my mother and after thirteen years I still have nightmares of those nights I would walk in oin his abuse. There are some nights where I lie in bed, sweaty palms, teary eyes, constantly repeating, “its just a dream, its just a dream.” The scary thing is, I know In my heart the nightmare once long ago was not a dream, it was reality.

I remember crying the day he left. Holding on to his leg praying, begging him to stay. He explained to me it was for the best. To this day that is the one truth in the web of lies he has made. To this day that is one thing he has managed to keep. The one thing I have never forgotten.

I remember waiting at my grandma’s house for him to pick me up, for his court assigned weekend. I can still remember the games I made up as I watched cars go by, waiting for a red jeep in which I was the queen of the passenger seat; and when he never came, he always called to promise he would make it up to me. My father always made promises he could never keep, but I always believed he would.But as time went on and my innocence of the world began to fade, so did my faith in his promises. I guess he forgot. I never did.

Nine days after my 11th birthday, my step-mother had twins. My 11th birthday was the last birthday I have ever received a card or acknowledgment from him. I’m guessing for the past 5 years he has just forgotten. My question is, how can you forget? Its like forgetting to breathe or forgetting to open your eyes in the morning. But over the years, I have forgotten to miss him, and have grown to resent him. For me,absence does not make the heart grow fonder.

His blood may run through my veins but his absence no longer chills my heart. It seems to me everything happens for a reason and what does not kill you makes you stronger. Yet no matter the time and distance that has separated myself and my father notjhing can come bwtween myself and my memories. I believer ther are some things you can never forget.