My mom always says “Once we get back on our feet with the business everything will be okay “At the time I was in 8th grade I remember my dad coming home finally after two weeks from gambling from my dad’s depression after what had happened. We had lost our business. I remember my emotion I wanted to cry he didn’t even look at me when he came through that door I felt like I wasn’t even his daughter. I was standing there in my Hallway looking straight at that door and he was standing there not saying one word to me. At this point I knew there was going to be a ruckus once my mom finally saw him. My brother Jeremy and I got out of the house because we didn’t want to hear another god damn fight. Don’t you ever wonder why things like this happen to you? And not anyone else? Well I know this happens to people probably everyday with worse situations but you would never ever think that your perfect life would be one day not be so perfect anymore.
At this point I was striving for something but I really didn’t know what. I wanted everything to back to normal that’s all I wanted It wasn’t even about that or a business, I wanted my family to be okay I didn’t care about any money in the world I hated seeing everyone miserable it just wasn’t fair. But in this world you can only survive with money, which sucks because in my situation we had none so basically we needed money to get back on track. I realized it wasn’t easy at all, there’s a lot of thinking and reasoning to just go buy another business when my dad’s business made all our money for many years. I thought my dad would get smarter after this incident but it only got worse. I thought he would be reasonable and try to help my family to get back on our feet but that wasn’t the case, all he did was gamble. My mom on the other hand went to go look for a job I had a lot of sympathy for her because she never worked a day in her life and she had to do it. I got a job to because I new I couldn’t ask my parents for money I had to get it on my own. I was not young but it felt so weird I was thankful I got the job in the first place but I was pissed that I had to go get one. I was thinking while I was working bad things happen to everyone you just have to live for today and I guess I had to deal with it. If you were in my shoes you didn’t want to live for today or any day I felt like nothing was ever going right. My brother was doing well he was going to Massage therapy school and we had to go get a loan to pay for it to pursue his dream. He was working with my Uncle as well in his car business so he was doing fine. I on the other hand wasn’t, I was trying to be happy but I just couldn’t. I remember this incident like it was yesterday during this time period my dad still was gambling and my mom was working so hard. We were at my grandmas one Sunday, my whole family goes there for dinner every Sunday my family and I were acting like we were happy but it was just an act. This whole argument came about how my dads worthless it was said by my Aunt. It brought tension to the table. My mom was furious, this whole fight rose my brother and I were crying on the front stoop and so was everyone else. I had to get away, other things were brought up that weren’t necessary like how my dad was unfaithful to my mom. My mom was hysterical because no one ever known this you should’ve seen my Grandma’s expressions on her face. Nothing ever got better, I’m not really a church person but my Grandma wanted me to go with her and pray. I didn’t hate god but why was he doing this to me? I didn’t really know how to pray besides ask him to give me a better life and all. I did what I had to do I kind of liked praying I prayed a lot. I even prayed to my grandma because I knew she was watching over me. I kept going to church every Sunday just to see anything would come out of it. This is where my belief comes in, I believe miracles do happen because after the struggle and the praying it did take two years but we finally got back on our feet and found a business. I believe that good things happen if you do the right thing. My dad’s gambling habits got better, I realized praying does really work and miracles do really happen.
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