This I Believe

Jessica - Corona, California
Entered on October 23, 2007
Age Group: Under 18

I believe that emotions can take control of people; maybe it cannot take control of their lives but, emotions can take enough control that they hurt other people.

I have experienced one emotion that has become a part of me, I have tried hard many times to shake it off and get it away from me, but it just keeps crawling back. I believe many different people can get an emotion that might not want to leave them alone, maybe it’s happiness, sadness, guiltiness, embarrassment etc. I believe any emotion can be controlling. For me personally it was sadness.

I never believed anything so powerful could happen to me. I had a perfect life, it was full of joy. I had good grades, loving parents, a nice sometimes annoying little brother. All in all a good life. After I turned fourteen everything started going downhill. My family and I were planning my quinceañera, we agreed on many things but soon my parents started arguing about financial problems. I didn’t know what to do, I was feeling really horrible. I blamed myself for their arguments, I knew that if it weren’t for my party that they wouldn’t be fighting. I still had good grades but I was no longer happy. I acted happy on the outside but my insides were being destroyed. To me it seemed like a dreadful life.

My friends would ask me if I was excited about my party and I would say the truth, yes and no. I stopped talking to them, I would say hi or smile at them if I saw them in the hallway but that was it. They would try and ask me what was wrong but I lied and told them that I was tired. I lost contact with them and made new friends.

These new friends were special they made me feel better about myself. I told them my problems and they understood perfectly where I was coming from. I believe that friends that don’t care enough to keep in touch with you are not really your friends. When I started to go off in my mind, theses new friends would snap me back into place. They were not exactly good role models but they are good friends and I believe that is what counts the most. Meanwhile at home I did not talk a lot and when my parents asked me what was wrong I answered that I was having problems with my friends, which was true in some ways.

I believe emotions can control your life and I was right, I was right in so many ways. Although my quinceañera passed with a good success my life has not improved much. If anything sad happens to me I am instantly shut down. I believe you have to be careful of your emotions because you never know where they may lead you.