As I sat in the middle of the front row of my senior class picture, I started to think. There were 500 kids behid me, and I bet 20 bucks I would never see them again. So, why did I try so hard, for so long to impress them? I believer in myself, and as each day araises and i see myself in the mirror, I see my long hair, my brown eyes, and my skin. The key word there is my. Out of the 17 years alive, I’ve spent 16 of them without the word. It usually was the hair of some amazing new model, and the clothes of the friends at school. It even included the fakest smile a dentist could rip off my parents with.
I drowned myself with impression and was buried alive with depression. I was the one thing I never wanted; completely fake to myself. It might be selfish to say such a thing as I believe in myself, but if you think about it, it sounds right. There are 3,686,954,762 people in the world and growing. You are one. Just one. It’s like getting the super size bag of M&M’s at Target and only getting one green one out of the whole entire bag. I want to be that green M&M; to be independent from the other M&Ms. I know that no one esle can make me do anything; that it’s all up to me to make the decisions of how my life is going to be.
As far as I’m concerned I believe in myself more than I believe there is a God. Has God ever came up to you and said,”hey, don’t steal that eyeliner; its wrong,” or, “its ok, the dark isn’t that scary.” No or else the world would be a lot simpler. I have to stand up and know whats wrong and i have to push myself to jump up and turn on the light. Religions just stop you from living out your life. In reality, if there is a heaven, hell and a God, he wouldn’t want us to set boundaries for ourselves but to be boundless to the opportunities God has made. The world is an incredible place filled with experiences you could never image. How can I let myself believe in some book, some bible, tell me who I am? How can I be anyone else but myself. I began to realize these things and decided that I’m my best friend, my forgiving God, and my worse enemy.
I refuse to believe there isn’t one thing out there I can’t do. Life is all about experiences. People come and they go. You just have to learn to deal with it. You’re the only thing in your life that can’t come and go. So as I wake up today and the tomorrows to come; to look myself in the mirror with a smile back. I know in my heart I’m always going to be that green M&M from now on.
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