I believe that God turns burdens into blessings and worries into wonders. God has been working in my life so much-especially during the past few months. I know now that God was at work but I didn’t realize it until I looked back and examined my former struggle. Before I knew it, a new chapter of my life began to form before my very eyes. It was a chapter of fear, doubt, love, and a surprising calm and contentedness.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to the “good ol’ days” in elementary school; the days where I would eat goldfish, color a picture for mom, and then go outside and play without a care in the world. Well, life isn’t as black and white as it was back then. My parents tell me that God puts challenges in my path to see how I handle it-to test me you might say. One big obstacle was my car accident. Yes, this car accident was my fault (I didn’t yield right of way) and yes, I totaled my brothers’ car. The other person in the car with me and I weren’t hurt, at least not physically that is. I was emotionally devastated. It wasn’t really about the car, things are things and they can be replaced. I guess it was the fact that I put my best friend in danger. The guilt I came face to face with that night was so real, I can’t remember a time where I felt so completely isolated from the world. I distinctly remember the smell of the crushed car, the deflated air bags and how cold it seemed that night. Time stood still. I spent hours and hours crying and wishing that I wasn’t even on this earth. I remember looking into the mirror later that night and wondering who was looking back at me. Mascara was smeared all over my face and my eyes were red and puffy. I didn’t smile and I always smile… I didn’t even want to eat. Now I had to deal with the aftereffect, the large ticket, the totaled car, my brother, no transportation, and the list went on and on. I was overwhelmed and heartbroken.
I didn’t realize it at the time but God was really working. Everyone was so supporting, they kept telling me that they were just glad that nobody was hurt. My friends and family truly cared and did anything that they could to help me. Oh how much I appreciate them to this day! If this car accident wouldn’t have happened, I wouldn’t have grown like I have since. I have become more responsible, I had to. It was a wakeup call. I now have a job as a waitress at the Bridgman Pizza Hut and I have paid back every cent. Transitioning was not easy for me to say the least but throughout everything my belief kept resurfacing. God turns burdens into blessings and worries into wonders.
How has this experience changed me? It gave me a better understanding of the responsibilities of life and the impact just one second can have, a second can change your life forever. Nobody knows what tomorrow’s going to hold, every moment is precious and should be treasured. I found my source of strength in that God would carry me and He has used this experience as a reminder that He will always be there. The definition of faith is the evidence of things unseen. Faith has been a hard thing for me to grasp and reach for, since the car accident my faith is growing though. I’m still guilty of doubting, but I have slowly realized that faith is an essential attribute in anything and everything. “There are better times ahead than any we left behind.” ~C.S. Lewis. I left behind my emotional heartache and everything that happened that horrible night. Now I encourage people to move on and do the same. I’m not saying that everything will be a piece of cake; there will still be hard times. I know this because I’ve been there.
“I will never be the same again. I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk the path, I’ll run the race. And I will never be the same again. Fall like fire, soak like rain. Flow like mighty water again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff. And let a flame to glorify Your name. There are higher heights and deeper seas. Whatever You do, Lord do it in me. The glory of God fills my life. And I will never be the same again.”
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