This I Believe

collier - Aurora, Colorado
Entered on October 14, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family

Alone In A Packed House

I have been surrounded by family for my whole life. I always wondered what it would be like to be an only child. What would it be like if I didn’t have my brother and sister there making fun of me of sharing their “wisdom” with me? After a fight, I wouldn’t mind being the only one at home. I wouldn’t be constantly reminded that I am the baby. Now they are both gone at college, and I find myself missing the arguments or reminders of age difference. I know that I have underappreciated the effect that my siblings have on me. They are off to enjoy their independence, but they have left me behind as they find their way in the world. While they are gone, I will have to make it by myself, without their help on homework, or the rides to the mall. These normal occurrences will be missing, and I must become self-reliant. When the moment came that I had to say goodbye to my tutors, chauffeurs, and friends, I realized that I didn’t want to let them go. I didn’t want them to leave me behind as they went on their own way. Yet in spite of my reliance on my siblings, I believe that being alone only makes you stronger.

As the day when I would be alone slowly approached, the memories of the many wonderful times we had together came rushing back into my mind. It was Christmas morning after we had read the clues “Santa” left that lead us to our big gift. My sister had received “Guitar Hero” and the three of us disappeared into the basement for hours to play this video game. We cheered each other on, though each of us was determined to be the best. . We knew that times like these were in short supply. We spent the whole day improving our guitar skills on the video game. I miss those times where it was just us kids playing the game while we were away from our parents for that period of time. We were hanging out with each other, free from the pressures of everyday.

Having two siblings was like having two lifelines when I needed them the most. They were there for me when I needed help. I will have to rely on myself now that the luxury has been taken away. Although they are not gone forever, it is the months in between the holidays that I find myself feeling alone in a packed house. To some people, it may seem like a full house with my mom, dad, two dogs, and me, but there are times when it feels too empty. I may be losing my tutors, chauffeurs, shopping companions, and video game partners, but I am gaining much more. I am gaining the self-reliance and strength that helps me survive on my own.