This I Believe

Hannah - Hot Springs, Arkansas
Entered on October 11, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death, family

As I sit here trying to write about something I believe in, I realize that my beliefs have changed dramatically from the time I was six years old to now. (I’m currently sixteen years old.) For the past few years, I have been questioning my beliefs. I believe that beliefs change. Whenever something happens that challenges our way of thinking, I think that’s when our beliefs are challenged the most. Whether its peer pressure, friendships, death, or even religion, our beliefs get challenge. My main point of this essay is that my beliefs have changed significantly.

Whenever I was younger, I believed that I would have the same best friend my whole life. I believed that everyone had a Prince Charming. I believed that I would never doubt God. As time went by, my beliefs started slowly fading. I was letting my beliefs go, and I didn’t really know why. They were changing, and I didn’t like it; however, I didn’t really do anything to stop it.

On April 8th, 2007, my mom passed away after fighting cancer for two years. Whenever this happened, the way I looked at everything changed. She had overcome the cancer in 2005, and we had thought everything was okay. Since she had overcome the cancer, I believed that miracles really could happen. Well, two years later, she died. I stopped believing in miracles. I also started questioning my belief in God. If God is so great and makes all these miracles happen, then why did he let my mom die? A fifteen year old isn’t supposed to lose her mom. It’s not right.

I can honestly say that losing my mom affected every belief I had. Well, most of them anyway. I befriended someone that wasn’t like who I normally hung out with. She was completely different than my other best friends. She did things that they wouldn’t have approved of if they knew of them. I knew I shouldn’t have become friends with her, but I didn’t think anything I was doing anything wrong. I thought we were best friends. When I think back on it, my best friends before her were better friends than she could ever be. During our so called “friendship,” I messed up a lot. It got to the point to where I would wake up in the morning and realize that all my beliefs were gone. I felt nothing. I would go through the day and not feel a single thing. Everything was gone. I didn’t like it, but honestly, I didn’t really care about changing. Luckily, my old friends forgave me and took me back.

Overall, beliefs change. They change whether we like it or not. They change for the good, and they change for the worse. I’m not really happy about what I believe in now, but like I said, beliefs change. It just takes awhile to see if they change, and how they do.