What are words besides letters? There are a bunch of lines and curves put to together to make some kind of meaning. Some words can make you happy, make you feel like you’re on top of the world, and some words can make you feel low, lower than dirt as it you were nothing.
Nothing is what I remember, seems to stand out the most when said to me. Two different people can say two different things but could still cut like knifes through my heart when said to me. Words that hurt so bad it left me wounded for weeks. A scar that was left on my hurt, which was eventually, be pulled off. The experienced with my mom is the one that got me. The day she called me a “little B” (bitch). At that point in time the anger that she had towards me made me feel like I wasn’t the same person. Coming from my mom I just couldn’t get over it. I couldn’t even look at her the same way for the next couple days. She called me out of my name it seemed I was no longer her daughter, I was just a “B.” I cried over that word not knowing before than it can make me feel that way. I didn’t think that one word could hurt so strong but it did coming from someone that I lived to love for the past 17 years. It left me with an aching pain in my hurt knowing that she felt that way. The feeling of numbness overcame me, just than I realized that words hurt.
Coming from a friend I wouldn’t have reacted how I did. I would have given them the look in said “I don’t play that,” and had some anger. The words would have hurt but not like it did coming from my mom. The “B word,” coming from my mom was like a scar on my right leg. I would never forget how it got there, but I’m over the pain now. I know it’s still there just like I know what got said is still there.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.