This I Believe

Tanisha - Reno, Nevada
Entered on October 8, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30

“This I Believe…”

I believe that marriage is a special moment between two people.

I was on a plane to Seattle, waiting with anticipation to see my sister. I could hear my heart beating and the sweet humming of the plane. I was so excited, that I could jump out of my seat anytime. The plane landed and came to a screeching halt; I was the first to burst up out of my seat. I speed out to see my sister Lindsey; we hugged like we hadn’t seen each other in years, she looked gorgeous, she still wore her worn out rugged snickers, a band t-shirt that fit perfectly, a pair of old holey jeans that hadn’t been thrown out for years, her nails were bitten down to the bone and her hair a light brown that faded into the distance; her smile so big it lit the room up. I knew that there was something different when I saw her, it wasn’t her appearance or her attitude it was something else but I couldn’t quit put my finger on it. I didn’t say anything and eventually forgot, my mind was too overwhelmed with joy to think about it. We picked up my bags; and how heavy they were as we walked outside I expected rain but none was falling. You could see the bright stars and the moon, beautiful there were no clouds in the sky. We arrived at her place; both exhausted from the long drive home and decided to hit the bed.

We awoke the next morning ready to make the best of that day. Our plans were to eat a meal we didn’t feel guilty about and go to a rock concert where we could forget about our worries; no more money problems, school problems and work problems they were left behind as soon as we closed the door to her 50’s styles house. We left the house around nine, it had not rained for a month and everything was dead, the grass was brown and the flowers had rippled away. We took our time eating breakfast at a little café around the corner from my sisters home. The air was full of delicious mouth watering cuisines; bacon, pancakes, omelets, hash browns and many other delights . We had missed our sister time and caught up on what each other had been doing. I could tell something was bothering her, she wanted to tell me but it wasn’t the right timing.

“Anything bothering you?” I said stuffing my face with delight.

“Nothing” she said quickly staring down.

“Ok then, what’s next on the agenda, anything wild and crazy?” forgetting what she said

The day was full of laughter, music and dancing.

The week went on, we always had something planned. She had made sure this week would be a week to remember. We never rested, and blisters formed on our feet. I met all her new friends who were very overwhelmingly nice, she seemed happy again. She had left Reno to get away and start over. I could see her getting confused and stressed; my sister needed a different environment where she could start clean. She needed to make new friends and find herself. She needed to start her career, and find someone special.

The day I found out was the day before I was leaving, rain had finally blessed the grounds of Seattle; it poured for hours at a time. The city was beautiful, we decided to hit the city and enjoy the nice day why it lasted. We ran everywhere jumping in the potholes full of water, our clothes soaked. We finally ran into a cupcake shop, and decided to get a bite to eat. We sat down, with our hair soaked and our perfect pink and blue cupcakes; the smell was divine. A long silence brushed between us, she broke the silence.

She bursted with excitement and exhaust, “This is hard and I don’t want you to think any less of me, but I am with someone, it is not who you think. Her name is Sarah.” I could see her eyes watering and her breathing had slowed down.

Shocked was I, no. I am not someone who thinks everyone is perfect.

“I am fine with this; I don’t think anything is wrong with loving another woman. No matter what happens or what your decisions are I support you.” I said ever so calmly. I could see her grip loosen and her eyes wrinkle with happiness.

When my sister had told me, nothing had stopped, the rain did not flutter away from my ear and I didn’t sit there in shock with a blank stare. I wasn’t angry or disgusted; I was pleased, my sister had found happiness. I could tell by her faint smile she was pleased to get that off her mind. I don’t think many people understand how hard it is to come to the realization that their loved one is gay, they haven’t changed who they are, they have just changed who they love.

This day was three times more exhilarating then the other days I spent there. The weight off her shoulders was lifted; she was relieved that I had taken her news so greatly. We spent the next few hours the same, not a rain drop or a cloud had changed in the sky, everything was perfect. The sun began to come out and the rain on the ground glistened. That day was perfect. My sister slept quietly that night, I had never felt much relief for her in my life.

I could hear the women over the intercom; “flight 319 has arrived.” We said our last goodbyes just like we’d said our first hellos. As I walked away I felt like I had received a gift, a gift of self awareness. My tears settled and I looked back and smiled and saw a face that had defeated all odds. A face that never gives up who she is, a freckled faced greened eyed brunette all tattooed up, normal woman.

I sat in the crammed plane next to the window, we began to take off I held on tight but let go. Life isn’t about holding on to something tight, but just letting things flow. I leaned on the window and looked down; I see a world of selfishness, denial, risk takers, lovers, artists, workers, gangsters, homeless and sinners. I see that nothing is perfect, everyone is different, and everyone should accept.

Had my life changed when I learned that my sister was gay, no nothing had changed. I just looked at the world the same as I always have, big, chaotic and different. I see people for who they are. I see light where darkness is and beauty where ugly is.

My sister inspired me to be me, she inspired me to make something of myself and to live life and take chances and never hold back. Lindsey inspired me to go to college and make something of myself. My sister is on top of the world, she is a woman who knows what she wants, a person who fights to be who she is. My sister is someone who doesn’t care to tell others she is gay now, she is proud. People may not like who she is, people may call her names, people may take things to far but she knows who she is and that’s all that matters. My sister is a successful person who in 24 years of her life has made everyday count, whether it was exhausting or fulfilling. She looks upon the future to see what her next obstacle will be.

Gay marriage a great controversy, should you go by the bible and say that marriage is only between a man and a women or open your heart and realize that changes happen and sometimes two men or two women can fall in love. I know this from experience that once you realize that the women you have looked up to for so long is gay, do their decisions to love a women make me change my whole outlook on them; no.

This I believe, Marriage is a special moment between two people, whether gay or straight.