My Choice… My Life

Sara-jo - Richlandtown, Pennsylvania
Entered on October 4, 2007

Just like every other human being, my goal in life is to find purpose. Meaning can be discovered in God, drugs, sex, family, or purely nothing at all. Ever since I could remember, I observed people and how they live simply to find a way for myself. I was exposed to unimaginable amounts of different types of characters and actions. Don’t get me wrong, everyone needs hope that life holds value. Why are we here? What’s for tomorrow? Why not today? So many questions with answers so simple no one wants to hear them. What we do is who we are. It is only because of recognition and choice that my purpose in life is me.

I know this girl who defeated all of the stereotypes for who she should be. When we first met, she had a radiance that you could feel. Some how she would always manage to put that smile on your face and let you forget that a cruel world exists. I knew instantaneously that she would be a part of me forever. By how she presented herself, one would only assume that she was an average kid in a happy-go-lucky family with the white picket fence. Almost immediately, through innuendo, I realized that she was trapped in the cycle of abuse–fighting for security and sanity. Later she told me the truth of her home life. That she lived in fear of her father and her mother really didn’t care. “How could this be?” I said to my self. “How could a pure soul come from such evil?” I asked her what was her secret, how does she manage to live every day, let alone make it positive? Her simplistic response astounded me; “I made a promise to myself at a young age that I never want to live the life my parents set me up for, but only reveal to the world truth and respect.” It was unfathomable to me that a child at such a young age could possess worldly knowledge. I didn’t understand how she discovered her life’s meaning so soon. She should be a strung out, pregnant, high school drop out scrambling for a few bucks and a place to sleep. Instead, she lived through the inspiration of the word choice. She told me that the little decisions made every day determine your life for tomorrow. It fills her with disgrace that people let time pass them by for greed, the selfishness of lying to themselves to make the grade. “Why do we take stock in the cards that we were dealt rather than invest in our own morals? Why does it take the fear of death to inspire us to live? How can we ignore our hearts and trust ignorance? I don’t want it”. She said, “I choose to believe in me”.

At young age I met a girl who defeated all of the stereotypes for who she should be. I told her the truth of my home life, that I was not an average kid in a happy-go-lucky family with the white picket fence. She asked me how do I it, what’s my secret? I simply said, “I am the product of my environment; I am the product of owning my choice”.