I Believe in Sticker Covered Mail
I was always tip toeing around. Making sure I was just as everyone wanted. Everyone but the person I had to ultimately face at some point, ME.
That all changed the day I told my mom that I wanted to be in the school musical. I had already quite Basketball earlier that year and put my word on doing the next sport for sure. She was highly disappointed in me for not going out for volleyball.
I was beaming with pure delight that I had broken through and freed myself from the soul-saddening route of being an extreme people pleaser. I wanted approval, acceptance and love. I learned that no matter how much I would try to accommodate what others thought was best, I soon discovered that I would be the only one shriveling up with sadness inside.
My High School years to follow were some of the happiest and loneliest. I would stand my ground when it came to my morals and values; however, was less informed about the parties. I was single, I figured, because every guy knew they weren’t getting anywhere with me.
Despite how alone at times I felt, I always kept a smile on my face and treated everyone with respect.
Perhaps, my old classmates will one day get it. To do stupid, ridiculous, spontaneous things knowing it was their choice. I am the hopeless romantic in sending my crushes tapes with songs made for them, long letters or special art projects plastered over their lockers. I truly love where I am. I do what I feel is true and always laugh about it later.
One of my latest hobbies has been sending thoughtful mail. Whether it is for Birthdays, Holidays, Mother’s day, Funerals, and random cards of encouragement or praise. The best part about these heart felt acts are that they are inhibited covered in stickers! All shapes, sizes, colors, textures, sparkles, glitters and most of all, myself. Sometimes due to time or availability there are only a few. That doesn’t happen often, but when it does I am still excited to be sending it out.
People, I feel, are so worried. Worried about how their parents will react, worried about not being a good enough you name it, worried about being made fun of, ridiculed, stared at, rejected.
I’m a joyful person because I make my own choices, live the life of my deepest longings, screw up and own up to it fully.
I believe in the power of individuality and self-identity. I believe in sticking to what the heart suggests. I do what I would be proud of leaving this earth with. Just a few notable bursts of excitement, color, random or expected, shuffled through the bills surprises. All because of my very own personal choices.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.