As a child, I may not fully understand the turmoil a parent faces, attempting to reconcile the disagreement between their beliefs, teachings, faith community, and society itself versus their child’s sexual orientation. However, I can express acknowledgement and validation of my parent’s discomfort or confusion, regarding my sexual orientation, in an effort to reach out. I too, found myself faced with difficultly reconciling the difference between what I was taught as a child, the faith community I was raised with in, and the risk of societal and family ostracizing versus being who I am. I feel that these are the cards I’ve been dealt and that it’s up to me to play this hand.
I recently requested of my parents; that they acknowledge, validate, and accept the fact that they have a gay son and embrace his perpetuating desire to be a part of their life. After multiple efforts to mitigate the depletion of our relationship by expressing, exactly what I hope for in a continued relationship, by extending invitations into my life, and both expressing and listening to opinions, I fear that their son’s “chosen live-style,” as they’ve put it, warrants the elimination of a continued relationship with him. That said, my intent of this request was not exhaust a tried and tried again debate as to whether or not my life is what it should be or where it went wrong; nor was it intended to come to a conclusion.
I nearly, went so far as to tell my partner of 3 years that he wasn’t welcome in our home one weekend so my mother and her new husband would visit me. After taking a few days to evaluate, I’ve come to the conclusion, despite this unfortunate demise, I can not pretend my life is something it is not to simply appease my mother’s discomfort over life’s realities.
Despite the situation at hand, I love my parents. There is an incomprehensible bond between a parent and a child, which has proven to be emotionally heartbreaking to live without. Someday we might rise above this non-sense and experience the joys of each other’s lives. I hope and pray that one of us won’t find ourselves peering over the casket before we realize what we’ve missed over the years by not accepting one another for who we are. I long for the day when I can write, “This I believe, a parent’s unconditional love and acceptance for their GLBT children, when tested, can pass and be embraced over all odds. For the time being; GLBT children ought to play the cards they’ve been dealt and expect nothing less that complete acceptance from their parents, this I believe.
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