I was dolled up from head to toe, a simple white dress, shinny expenisve jewelry, and black high heels. I know my grandma wouldn’t have wanted me to look any other way. She was always telling me, “Jennifer, looks are the first thing a person sees when they look at you. You need to present yourself well, especially when meeting somebody important.” I did exactly that, just for her. I don’t think I have ever looked any better.
She did the exact same for me. Her casket, light purple. Her eye shadow, blue. Her pearly white shirt, spotlessly clean. When I glanced at her lying in her casket, I felt completely drained and furious. But, I was happy at the same time, because I knew that God needed her. How couldn’t he? she was perfect, just like she always wanted everyone else to be. She was never a hypocrite.
Before her services, I was acting like a stubborn child who didn’t want to eat their vegetables. I was so mad at everybody around me, angry at the world, unsatisfied that she wasn’t going to be there to perfect everything about me, ever again. But I knew that I had to start acting like the sixteen year old I was about to be. It was time for me to toughen up, and face reality. It was at this moment, I realized I found my belief in inner-strength.
I believe that everybody has a strength inside that comes out when they are in a desperate, emotional time in their life. I believe it makes you a better person in those critical situations when you think you’re supposed to be stronger than everybody else. I found my inner-strength on May 31st, 2007, the day my grandma passed away. I knew that I couldn’t dwell on the fact that she wasn’t going to be here anymore. I had to remind myself everyday of everything amazing she had done for me.
My inner-strength led me to stand in the funeral home and smile, instead of cry. I told stories about my grandma that made everybody laugh, including myself. To this very day, I believe there is inner-strength inside of everybody, that will let them get through the hard times in life, just like my inner-strengh did.
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