Change for Love

Dustin - Conway, Arkansas
Entered on September 12, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, love, work

Has anyone in all of time ever found a significant other that matched them perfectly? A relationship that required no work and did without any disagreements because they suited each other so very well. I haven’t lived long enough to know everything about the world and how it works, but I believe that sometimes love isn’t about how well another person suits someone else, but instead how much they will change to suit them.

As much as I hate admitting I’m wrong, I can never seem to win an argument against my girlfriend. Somehow she tricks my mind into thinking she is right, so then I have to lay my pride on the ground and tell her she is right. I have to change my opinion to suit her, but at least it puts a smile on her face in the end, and if it makes her happy then it is always worth it to admit I’m wrong.

I have heard stories of married couples going to counseling because their relationship was falling apart, and it wasn’t because they were perfect to together. When I was younger I watched my dad and stepmother yell, scream, slam doors at each other every night for an entire week, and it made me feel hopeless. Neither of them wanted to change for one another. My stepmother wouldn’t stop drinking and my dad wouldn’t start listening. I left after that week and went to live at my grandparents house, and I found similar fights between them, even though they didn’t think I was listening. My grandparents’ fights didn’t last as long, I guess they were old enough to realize that they had to change to make each other happy.

Meanwhile, my dad and my stepmother came closer and closer to divorce. I don’t know what went on while a was gone, but if they fought like that while I was there, I would really hate to see them go at each other when I wasn’t sitting in the same room as them.

A few months later I heard from my grandfather that my stepmother went to rehab. He also told me that my dad and stepmother had stopped fighting and they were finally happy again. My stepmother dropped the alcohol, which is probably a lot harder than it seems, and my dad started caring for her. They are still together today, and I haven’t seen them fight since then.

It seems that a person can’t just go throughout a relationship thinking they are perfect. Somewhere in the mix someone will need to breakdown and change for the best, even though it may seem too hard.