This I Believe

Lindsay - Niagara University, New York
Entered on September 11, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: death, family, legacy

I am a nineteen year old girl who was forced to grow up fast. High school was not a walk through the park. It was not the most exhilarating experience of my life. Graduation day was the first time in a long time I felt complete. Looking back on it now, I don’t wish I could change the past, but I do however wish I could re-live it.

After my first year of college I was confident with what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to work in an elementary school as a therapist. Mother’s day was the first holiday with all the college kids home again. That’s the last day I remember my entire family smiling. Six days after Mother’s Day my oldest cousin, David, died instantly of heart failure. It seemed ironic to me that his heart could just stop beating because he had such a big heart.

The wake and funeral were the two hardest days of my life. I had never seen so many people in such intense pain. Suddenly the world had seemed to stop moving. I stood there watching people walk in and walk out in tears. I understood the tears completely, but for some reason I found it hard to cry. To me, it seemed like it was all a dream. I didn’t know why I couldn’t physical go close to the casket. My body and soul didn’t believe the grief that one person could cause. I loved David very much, but to see how many others loved him like I did was incredible. I believed my purpose was to re-assure the people I loved that he will never be gone. His body may not walk this earth anymore, but his heart was so gigantic that it touched everyone he met. To me, I didn’t feel a need to cry because I knew he wouldn’t want me to. Even after he died, I know he is never completely gone because David will live forever in my heart.

David cared so much about everything. Some people may call it being anal, but I like to think of it as striving for perfection. In his short life time he had perfected so many lives because he expected nothing less of himself. He wanted to make everyone happy. If he went to the movies with his friends or he built my grandparents a shed he did it with style. Everywhere he went he seemed to actually change the world for the better.

With great tragedy comes hope and love. David lives on in the legacy he left behind in all our hearts. His legacy of love will live forever in my life, in my grandmother’s life, and in everyone he has ever known.

He was a fallen angel. God needed him back to spread the love somewhere else.