This I Believe

Nicole Rowell - USA
Entered on September 10, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, love, setbacks

I believe in the power of acknowledgement. The intensity of truth can often be overwhelming, but the sting of lies and denial can sometimes be worse.

Until recently, my parents had been married for ten years. In those ten years I had literally never witnessed a disagreement over the littlest thing, let a lone an actual argument. They were the couple that was always holding hands and giggling about nothing in particular, they seemed perfect to me. I had always dreamed of having a relationship like that some day, being happy like that, loving someone so much and so genuinely.

Three months ago my mom told me my dad was moving out, they were getting divorced, and we were going to downsize to a smaller house since it was going to be my mother and me only from now on. There wasn’t any argument from me, no tears, barely even a response. Over the weeks I was able to dismiss the idea for the most part. I missed my dad intensely, but my mother and I completely ignored the fact that we were both wrecks and we pretended everything was fine.

It wasn’t until my mother apologized for the drastic changes several weeks ago, that I even realized how unsettled I was with the entire ordeal. I hadn’t gone out with friends since the evening I was told of the divorce, I ignored most of my texts and all of my cell phone calls unless it was an emergency, and I hadn’t gone to visit my dad. She acknowledged what was occurring, and I was able to do the same. We had both been ignoring all these major changes in our lives, our emotions were just bubbling under the surface, and we were emotional bombs. It was out in the open when she admitted things would never be the same, we were able to talk; I was able to accept the truth that there were going to be certain major altercations. Until that conversation I had frankly been stereotypical moody teenager, but after that talk, I was able to embrace what was happening, to acknowledge it.

When I think about times like their wedding, when my dad adopted me along side of my mom, when we moved to Arizona, and their 9th anniversary, it is really hard. But the situation isn’t going to change no matter how much I miss the past. I am aware of what is happening in my life and I am embracing it, making the best of the individual time I have with my parents.

I do believe in heartbreak and hard times. More importantly though, I believe in recovery and starting fresh. I believe in remembering the past while moving forward. I believe in making your life amazing, and not waiting for someone to do it for you. I believe in the power and strength of acknowledgement.