This I Believe

Bo - Tucson, Arizona
Entered on September 10, 2007

It’s In You

I believe in myself.

It’s hard to deny that life isn’t easy. Of course everyone has problems and how we deal with them is as unique as we are. We seek guidance; some look to the sky while others look to the trees. I look to myself.

I was raised in an awkward family when it came to religion. My parents were Christians but never reinforced their beliefs on their children. They had assumed that we, more so I, would assume this role in an inactive Christian life. But I found it hard to follow when we didn’t go to church, read the Bible, or actively partake in discussion of religion. God first, then family, and so on and so forth, but over time, I found myself branching off in another direction. A direction I liked to call myself.

Recently, my mother and I had gotten into an argument over guidance when I, like so many people, was facing life. She told me to look to God for an answer, but before thinking of the implications, I told her, “I don’t believe in God.” To say the least, all hell broke loose. It was easy to understand her frustration because when a passion is genuine, it is hard to be criticized for it. Like a good son, I sat there and listened to her take on it. After being force fed her ideas and why I should believe them, I calmly told her that I find a greater strength in finding the answers in myself.

Whenever I have a problem, whenever life decides to throw me for a loop, I don’t get down on my knees and pray. I look to myself for guidance. In this idea, I found a breathtaking strength. Instead of asking for an answer, find it yourself. This newfound power was inspiring. I knew that I could face life when no one was there to face it with me, when no one was there to help. I would never be alone in the dark because I was there with a light. In a sense, I was my own religion. Despite my lack of a defined sect, I still had morals and a sense of right and wrong-a sixth sense I find as basic human instinct. But also, I found a deity within, which I knew personally. Looking for clues as to an answer, or more so a guessing game, was unnecessary because the answer was right there with me.

To this, my mother had no response, but instead shook her head. Of course I hadn’t changed her views, but she now had a greater appreciation for what I stood for as a struggling person.

My philosophy in life is this-when you are having a problem finding yourself, you can stop right there. Look in a mirror because what you’ve been searching for has been with you all along. Believe in yourself, because there you will find power.