The Choice to Fall in Love
Ask any of my friends and they will tell you that I am a romantic at heart. Even though I will strongly deny my love of romance it has undoubtedly defined the way I thought it would feel when I fell in love. Until I fell in love, that is, and it felt nothing like what I expected. It was then that I realized that falling in love is not so much about the “butterflies in the stomach” feeling as it is about making a conscious decision to invest your time in getting to know another person at a level deeper than you would in any other relationship.
It may be cheesy to say but I’m pretty sure that this summer I met the man I am going to marry. For three months we spent every day and every night together, first becoming friends and finally falling in love. And then reality set in as the summer came to a close and we both had to return home to our respective states to finish college. I have never missed someone so much in my life. One night, about a week after I returned home, I was talking to my mom about how much I loved this man, expecting her to be happy for me. But my expectations were wrong. Instead my mom decided to lecture me on not “settling” for the first guy who showed any interest in me. My mom’s lecture eventually escalated into her telling me that she had never really loved my dad. She had mistaken the “butterflies in the stomach” feeling as love, or so she said.
This got me thinking, am I making the same mistake, too? At this point in my life things would honestly be easier if I wasn’t in this relationship. I could focus on finishing college, deciding where I want to go to law school, and figuring out what I want to do with my life. Being unattached would simply make my life easier. But then I would have to go without the one person who makes me feel like I am the most important woman in the world. I would have to go without the support and encouragement to follow my dreams that he has given me from the moment I met him. Recently in my daily devotions I was reading an article on soul mates which raised an interesting point. The article reminded me that no relationship is perfect…ever. A relationship only survives when those in it make the conscious choice to love one another despite their individual flaws and despite the hardships that they are facing. While I can’t guarantee that this new relationship is destined to last forever, I know that it will never work if I don’t put every ounce of my being into loving him. My choice is love, despite the hardships of distance, but it doesn’t hurt that I have the “butterflies in the stomach” feeling, too.
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