In my everyday life I face difficult thoughts that pass through my mind,
like worry, or jealousy of another. I believe in a pessimistic, and untrusting
nature. If you make people earn your trust, then you can easily know whom
your true friends are, and also be able to depict the people you do or don’t
want to be around. If you are thinking the worst of situations, then when
they do happen, it’s anticipated and expected, so it wont hit you so hard
when bad things do happen. How can you be hurt when you always expect
You see, my dilemma is that the more I keep from hurting myself, the
more selfishly I was blindly hurting others. I worried myself crazy, and I let
it anger me sometimes and gain control. It even got to the point I made my
girlfriend mad at me for an entire week. And it was all over being untrusting.
I realized that this is not the type of person I want to be, I was hurting myself
and others more everyday. I used to be the easy-going, laid back,
happy kind of person. I couldn’t believe that this un-trusting personality had
made me that depressed. I couldn’t even see that the people I were angry at
hadn’t done anything wrong at all. The only wrong things were my horrible
Finally, I had regained control of myself, and stopped the train of
arguments and hate. I was tired of the non-stop jealousy and analyzing the
worst in every situation. I just had to stop and relax, and quit taking things
for more than they actually were. Now I’m back to the old ways, “Acuna
matata.” I don’t worry much anymore, and I look at the bright side of things.
I believe now that I should give everyone my trust until its broken, and even
then, it can be repaired.
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