Belief is what people make themselves to have. For instance, God or Buddha’s teachings just enthrall the people but not give people to have belief. Since I thought this way, I only believe what is tangible and able to see. However, it does not mean that I am a buddhist, who believes buddha’s statue. Also, I am not a anti-christian. I just do not like the most of religion’s teaching styles. They just dominate people’s belief, which they had before they have religions. I believe myself, family, teachers and friends, etc. Because I do not follow any of the religion, I am an agnostic.
First time I went to presbyterian church was when I was seven. Church looked great and sacred. One of my memories in presbyterian church was Sunday school. My Sunday school teacher told me a story about Jesus, and it was interesting. However, I, seven years old boy, found the odd thing. Pastor and Sunday school teacher indirectly implied that Jesus is the best who is impeccable and our savior. But I thought there was something wrong with that. Church was dominating my own belief, just trying to keep me to remind Jesus is the best and our savior.
My grandmother died in 2001. Our family held the funeral at the hospital and later performed an ancestral sacrifice at the temple. Since my aunt was the oldest in my dad’s family, we had to follow her opinion and religion. It is usual in Korean society. My aunt is a buddhist. It was first time I went to the buddhist temple. In funeral, my grandmother’s picture was on the table that everyone takes a deep bow. However, in the buddhist temple, my grandmother’s name was written on the paper and laid under the buddha’s statue. And then led by my aunt’s, I had to take a deep bow toward the buddhist statue, not toward my grandmother’s picture as was in funeral. I thought it was just a bow toward the bronze stone. I seriously do not like it.
Since I had experiences in two religions, and then finally found my own belief. I decided to believe what is tangible, able to see throught, not dominating and believable. The answer was myself, family, teachers and friends. They are the people who have the closest relationship with me. Also, I think if we live together well, we do not need to rely on Buddha or God.
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