Love vs. Infatuation

Nicole - Clermont, Florida
Entered on August 23, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: integrity, love

The ability to love is not limited to the heart; to completely love someone, you love them all your heart and mind. That feeling of deep affection and pleasure you get from someone is not love, but lust and infatuation. Love goes beyond just loving to be around someone and them treating you right. Just because you can open up to someone or you feel like you can’t live without them, doesn’t mean you love them. That’s obsession, attachment, and your heart telling you that you love them. Just because you want love, doesn’t mean you will get it anytime soon. In order to love someone, you need to see life as parts, not as a whole. Life is beyond what happens in your eyesight, to see love as its true meaning; you need to see grassy mountains, starving kids, poor families. Whether its scenery, or just people, it builds love into your heart. I understand that love is different than romantic love, but in order to have one, you must have the other. Young teenagers jump into relationships wanting love, so they convince their own hearts, that the person their dating is the person they want to be with. To love someone is when you put all flaws aside and understand the true meaning of the relationship. Love requires compromises and agreements, and takes people not being selfish. When you can actually put your jealousy and fears of being hurt aside, is when you can love someone to the full extent. I don’t believe that half the people on the world have the ability to love another person, their respect is at the all-time low, and they don’t understand love as it should be understood.

As a product of recently divorced parents, I’ve become better acquainted with my feelings on this topic. I’ve come to more conclusions that I’ve realized could help people tell the difference between love and infatuation. When getting married especially, I think each partner should evaluate their thoughts, experiences, and what they’ve witnessed together as a couple. When I was a freshman in high school, I started dating a guy that I thought would end out perfectly and I’d convince myself that everything was fine without noticing. After 1 year and 4 months of dating this guy, I realized that I wasn’t being myself, that being with this guy was making me treat my friends differently, make me dress differently because I was trying to make him happy and I didn’t want to fight. But as I grew, I’ve realized it wasn’t real love, if it were real love, he wouldn’t have tried to change me, there would’ve been trust, respect, honesty, and none of the controlling words that he’d say. Love is when you can respect another person enough to not change them, not just caring for someone and having patience. It also requires that, but that trust and honesty also needs to be there.