This I believe…
I have no idea when this change occurred, but this morning, as I rolled out of bed and started my daily routine, something hit me. I promised myself I would never let this happen. I couldn’t, I did not want to turn into this person I had so unconsciously become. Somehow this metamorphosis happened. I quickly dressed for work and went into my son’s room to wake him up by tickling him. This was the tactic of choice that my mother used on me as a child. I helped him get dressed, made breakfast, took him to school and then hurried to my office to start another day of work.
I worked all morning and then it was finally lunchtime. I went to a few stores for some much needed errands and then went back to work. I finished all my tasks and left work late rushing to pick up my son. I picked him up and we talked all the way home. I asked him about his day at school; “What did you eat for lunch,” Who did you play with,” and most importantly, “Did you have fun.” When we got home I made dinner and cleaned the kitchen, all the while I was switching the loads of laundry and talking to my husband about his day. I then played with my son for an hour or so, then gave him a shower and got his pajamas on. We sat in bed winding down our days by reading some of his favorite books. It was getting very late and my son wanted me to read one more book, but I was exhausted from my day and knew I had to do the same routine the next day. I took a page out my mother’s playbook and said that he needed to go to bed before the “Wicked Witch” comes out. After a certain breakpoint in my mother’s day, she would become another person and my siblings and I knew we needed to get away.
Oh my, it really is happening to me! My son finally went to sleep and I went into the living room and sat down. I needed to think about this change that had happened without me even knowing it! When I was newly married and had my son, I wanted to be a stay at home mom. After 3 months of staying home I realized I had lost my identity. I had turned into someone I didn’t know. I went back to work the next week, as I was not the person I strived to be. I give at home, work, and most importantly I give my whole self to my family. What had happened? I sat in my living room looking around and then I stopped at a family picture. The light went on inside my head. This I believe… I became my mother!
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