I believe that my Father loves me. Not just my Father, but God, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. I have all the proof I need just looking at where I am, where I came from. Nothing I have is perfect, but He’s given it to me, and I’d never change or trade it for anything. I’ve done wrong every day of my life, and when I pray, I know that He forgives me, and I don’t have to worry about where I’m going if I die at night. Me and Jesus got that worked out a long time ago. I have no doubt God loves me.
It was the feeling of love I felt in my heart when I sang that old hymn last Sunday at church. His love was what caught me when I was stumbling back from the pain of my parent’s divorce. His words are what I turn to, without fail, for perfect comfort. I know God loves me because I know what it’s like to stay out after midnight fishing and swimming with my best friend. I know what it’s like to fly down Highway 64 going way too fast in a red Firebird Trans Am with the T-Tops off and radio blasting. I know what it is to watch the fireflies in Bahama, North Carolina, drinking sweet tea from a Mason jar with my family. I know what it’s like to stand at the helm of a boat, ocean and summer stinging my face. I know what how it feels to fly an airplane, and I know what it’s like to be young, wild, and reckless. I know what it is to hike up mountains. Let me tell you, in those moments, the feeling of safety, love, and beauty that envelopes me is a gift from Him. Never could I doubt that all of what He has given me was anything other than a gift of His love. None of it was accident or coincidence, and neither is my ability to feel it.
And I know, too, what flying over a three-foot-six-inch jump without a horse is and hoping I’ll be able to walk when I hit the dirt. I know what attending one of my long-time friend’s funerals is. I know what lies are, and what betrayal is. I know what one of the people you love most breaking every promise they’ve made is. I’ve felt what it is to be terrified. I know what honest work is. I know what it is to be knocked to your knees by hurt. I know what disappointment is, too, and I know who I’ve turned to every time and has brought me through, without fail, every hardship.
I know who gave me every thing I have. I know who leads me when I’m flying blind into something I’ve never done before. I know who takes care of me, guides, and watches me. No one could ever tell me that it isn’t God who gives me this complete feeling of happiness and contentment, or that it wasn’t him who carried me through the hardest time of my life. I’m never very far from what I am-my Father’s daughter, from a long line of sinners like me. And, most of all, I believe my Daddy, creator of the universe, loves me.
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