Growing up as a child I learned that you should accept others the way that they are. As I was young, I did. I knew that you could not change someone the way you want them to be. The way they are is what makes them unique.
I had been dating my previous boyfriend for two years. In between those two years, I learned who he really was. In the beginning there had been a couple of things that I did not like, but I said to myself, “Hey, he’s cute, he’ll change for me.” So that is what I stuck with. He was two different people. When he was with his friends, he was very outgoing and sociable; life of the party. When he was with me, he all of a sudden turned opposite and was always bashful and dull. We would stay at home most of the time watching a movie or television. I had told him in an argument that we had, that I did not like the way things were going when we were together. He told me that things would change for the better, and that I would be happy again. Well, at first it did. We would go downtown to city place, go out toe at, go bowling, or take a walk on the beach. I started to become happy again, until it stopped. Things went back to normal and he went back to the way he was, which was boring. There had been other problems before in the relationship. Problems like not holding my hand in public, or opening the doors for me, or as you would call, a gentlemen. I knew that it would not be fair to ask him to change, but I felt like I had to. After awhile of waiting for him to change, I noticed that he wouldn’t. What I did realize though is that you cannot change somebody from the way they are. If that person truly wants to change, then they will. What you can do is change the way you feel about that person. If it does not work out, then move on. So that is exactly what I did. I ended things between us.
After that I learned many things. You cannot change somebody no matter how hard you try, all you can do is change the way you feel about them. Let them be who they are which is simply unique.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.