I believe in God. I know in today’s society it might be unfashionable or unpopular. No longer cool or expected.
I believe in the Creator. As far back as I can remember I knew God existed and knew He was watching over me.
He was there during my elementary school years when my life was a dichotomy – being the “life of the party” on the one hand, and a depressed little girl whose father was never there on the other hand. But whether playing Skelly and Red Rover with my friends or waiting on the stoop for my father, God was always there. A very real presence in my young life. With my friends He helped me not to become too outrageously bossy as I had a tendency to do. And while on the stoop as darkness descended in bits and pieces until the street lights blazed, God comforted my broken heart . . . again.
My predictably insecure teenage years would have been unbearable without the reassurance of God’s love. No longer did I attend church on a regular basis, or on any basis for that matter. No longer did I read my bible. I figured what I didn’t know, I couldn’t be held responsible for. By then I was wrapped up in the confusing yet awesome changes in my body as well as the changes all around me. But in the few and far between quiet moments when I wasn’t watching TV, reading, or sleeping, God reminded me of my immeasurable worth to Him. His word spoken to and through my heart let me know that He loved me and there was nothing on this earth I could ever say or do that would change that.
Throughout my 20’s and 30’s God’s presence was evident in the faces of my children. Pure, unconditional love was reflected in their eyes. Their willingness to accept me as I was – faults and all. Their need to be close to me, to know me, to trust me. God’s truth’s shining through them.
And now, in my 40’s, I know He’s always been there for me and will continue to be. His word says, “I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you.” And He has done that many times over by:
• Relieving me of depression so deep suicide became an option
• Preserving my 2-year-olds life when she had a pneumonia and a strain of infection that causes meningitis
• Preserving my life in an abusive marriage
• Changing my heart to enable me to forgive my abuser
Yes, I believe in God and have accepted His son Jesus Christ as my Savior. God is real in my life and in the lives of my children. No debate can be clever enough, no circumstance dire enough or situation hopeless enough to change that belief. Yes, I believe in God. And I’m so thankful that God believes in me.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.