I believe in what love is and what it can make of you

Angelica - Buellton, California
Entered on July 3, 2007

Love is what you feel for something or someone, but theirs all kinds of love and the most important ones are for you family, friends, and that special someone in your life. The love that you have for your family is everlasting, and the love that you have for your friends is the same but you will always be there for them as a friend. As for me, I never I never understood or thought I was capable of loving someone. I kept it a secret for 10 years, until I was comfortable talking about it. Dealing with the fact that I was sexually abused, really messed everything up for me. The ones who hurt you are family and friends. For three years that’s who was hurting me; a cousin and a family friend who was my neighbor. At the age of 9 I didn’t really understand, but as I got older I knew it was wrong.

Making friends was hard because I would rather be alone; I became really shy and didn’t trust anyone. Growing up I was ale to put up a front, like I was happy and friendly all the time but in reality I was sad, confused, and depressed. When I graduated junior high everything stopped, which meant I was going to enter a totally different world. Unfortunately I became angry and was constantly called a “bitch”, but I didn’t care. My sophomore and senior year in high school were the worst, that’s about the time when I started to have feelings for a guy; I would let my feelings get to me which led me to cutting and depression. I was drinking and doing drugs, but no one knew what I was doing because I kept it to myself; until I got caught.

I never really had a best friend or someone I could talk to so I never could confide in anyone. Until I met Marisela, also known as Choners, she became my best friend and now knows everything about me. She has helped me realize what it means to have love for a friend, since high school we have been through a lot together, good and bad, but we’ve been best friends ever since. But I was still confused as to what it meant to have love for someone special, I’m not too worried about it because I’m focused in school, and when it does happen I’ll be ready.

I finally overcame it, yes it was hard but I put it all behind me, I graduated high school, and now attending Allan Hancock College to become a nurse. Now I can say I love my family and friends I’m happier than ever and not as shy as I used to be, thanks to my best friend and my family, I love you guys!