The Strength of Weakness

Miguel - Miami, Florida
Entered on June 25, 2007

I believe that weakness, the kind of weakness that allows human dignity to be blown to pieces, is the strongest purifier of the soul.

Twelve hours before her death, as I stared at my wife indefensibly sitting in pain on the early wheel chair destiny had prepared, I invented the most disgusting, disgraceful thought a human can ever devise. Her breast cancer induced weakness impelled me to believe that the beautiful woman I had fallen in love with ten years past, had now been reduced to ruins, human debris not worthy of me.

And so it is that evil considers humans to be like onions. Yes, like onions. The more layers of onion that get peeled off, the more pungent to the eyes it gets. Likewise, the more layers of humanity that get peeled off a person’s back, the more irritating to the blind eyes of pride she becomes.

I believe that pride, in its condition of mother of all bullies, of supreme punisher of everything weak, can only be overcome by the strength of weakness and the dignifying of the undignified. But how can weakness possess any strength? I believe that the level of God’s commitment to a cause is inversely proportional to the level of pride and arrogance at the root of that cause. God is universal but he is most committed to liberating the weak. He likes to reside amongst the weak. He is the strength of weakness!

Nowadays, whenever destiny carries me to the realm of weakness: an inexperienced waiter on his first day at work, a slow moving senior at the check out counter, an undocumented immigrant daring to become like me, even a dying thirty three year old wife on a premature wheel chair, I try as hard as I can to embrace and rejoice in weakness for, weakness, the kind of weakness that allows human dignity to be blown to pieces, is God’s most powerful way of teaching me that strength is not the capacity to master limbs or muster resources, but the perceived need to organize my alphas in front of my omegas, the faculty to suppress my pride and self-importance, the insight to abandon my own self and to become weak and meek, just as my beloved wife, on my soul’s darkest hour, using nothing more than the strength of her God given weakness, so mightily revealed.

The strength of weakness; This I believe!