Now that I am officially in midlife, I wish to join the ranks of those who have became more rounded and balanced.
For some, this process of roundedness has meant becoming more aware of world events, understanding the complexities and intricacies of diplomacy, and appreciating cultures beyond our own.
For others, it means expanding into new horizons of learning…maybe studying a new language or pursuing a degree.
While for others, being a more rounded person may mean not being so angry, fearful, anxious, or reactionary but to find peacefulness, contentment, and introspection.
It may also mean balancing life with work and play.
But becoming a more balanced person does not mean any of these things to me or at least at this point in my life.
Instead, I want to enjoy the sensations of life. I want to explore, discover, feel, and immerse myself into life.
You see, I am a thinking person. I have always thought about things. I analyze anything and everything. I have made a living at this. I have capitalized on these skills, refined them, and cherished them.
But there is a limit. I now want to feel life, taste it, hear it and smell it. I want to feel what it is like to swoon, to run with the horses, to tingle all over my body.
As part of this life changing transition, I want to listen to wild, flowing music.
I also want to see colors. Not just the outward hues everyone else sees but the colors that are seen only through the soul.
I want to remember smells…stopping when a smell comes my way, intently concentrating on the aroma in order to allow it to fully register in that shriveled up part of my brain.
It means slowing down to enjoy the taste of my food. To eat only food that is appealing to me at the moment. To stop eating those foods that are bland and dull.
I want to develop touch and to experience and enjoy the newness of light, sensual touch, and textures.
There is much I want to learn…. How to move my body like those beautiful athletes do, to spontaneously move my limbs to the sounds and rhythms of music…to experience all of the senses simultaneously like being in a tornado or amusement park ride, minus the motion sickness.
I want to become a real person- A well rounded person. I want to think AND I want to feel. I want to be whole. I want to learn something more than what a new language or career will provide. I want to experience life.
And to this end, I will become more aware of others, more balanced in my work and play and be more peaceful. This I believe.
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