I’m shy. Well, shy enough I guess you could say. Consideration and self-doubt play a role in my shyness as well. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, right? Right. I believe this shyness has shaped me into who I am and always will be. But don’t get me wrong. I’m sociable and outgoing too. It’s just that I sometimes prefer to be quiet and listen in on what others have to say then to just open my big mouth and spew out my “wisdom” to everyone. But this is a special occasion, and I think I’ll stand in the spotlight just this once.
Throughout all my childhood and up until entering highschool, I was obcessively shy and insecure. I mean real obcessive. If there was ice cream on a platter for a couple of kids to grab and chow down on, I waited to see if everyone else had one, and then I would reach out for one (most of the time there weren’t any more left). If we were at a dance recital, and I was asked if I could fill in for the soloist because she was sick, I asked if they thought I was ready, or if they had asked any of the other girls to see if they would fill in (I never got to be a soloist by the way). If we were out to rent a movie, and people were asking for suggestions on what to rent, I just said “Oh. Anythings fine with me,” when the truth was that I had been awaiting the arrival of Aladdin: The Return of Jafar and it was finally here!!! But no…I had to make sure others would want to watch it too, which I was positive they didn’t, right? Because who would want to watch my movies?
It was always “What do you want? What’s good for you? Are you comfortable like that? Can I do anything that will make things easier for you? You, you, you. Never I, myself, ME!!!
And I finally came to realize that too much shyness and too much consideration don’t blend into that great of a smoothie. So I decided to tweak my “Smoothie of Life” and change it to make my tastebuds shout for joy. This concoction that I’m drinking now tastes pretty damn good, if I may say so myself. Its special, you know, and its got special ingrediants. Its got a hint of consideration in it, mixed with laughter, goofyness, a spoon full of sugar and ego mixed into one…and oh, I almost forgot the pinch of shyness. Its my special ingrediant. I’ve grown far enough from it so I can live up life, but at the same time not too far, cause I’m not aiming to become no ego-centric maniac. I like to call it “Unique Identity.”
I’m up on this stage, drinking my smoothie and I’m loving it. Because for once in my life I’m thinking about myself, and how I’m going to taste it first before I give you a sip. And for once in my life, I’m not afraid of the unkown. I’m not afraid to be shy anymore, because I can control it now.
The road was bumpy, with crooks and turns a while back. I thought I was lost, but no. All I had to do was grab ahold of the reins. The road’s getting smoother now, and I can see the sun up ahead and man does it feel good with the breeze in my hair and that smoothie in my mouth. Mmm mmm.
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