There are infinite times in our lives when we want to quit. We want to let go of it all; we want to give up. It is during times like these that I look inward and somehow and in some way muster up enough strength to get by.
Lately I’ve noticed that I have one good, faithful friend to ease the process and his name is Will Power. I don’t really know whose will power I inherited, maybe my mom’s: she strives to be the best mom, while working full-time and returning to school, or maybe my grandma’s: a woman who escaped Vienna during the Holocaust rolled up in a rug in the back of a truck. I don’t know where it originated, but here I am, and I can honestly say that I believe in will power.
When I was younger, I didn’t have as much self-confidence. But as I got older and encountered certain obstacles, and then overcame those obstacles, I began to realize how much leverage I had over my life, whether it be in school, relationships, or most memorably, in a scheduled check-up at the doctor’s office.
After walking into the cold, sterile room of the office, my stomach lurched as the butterflies fluttered within. I knew the doctor wouldn’t have any good news to broadcast, and I knew that whatever she would announce would not please my parents or me. The doctor entered with worried eyes and asserted, “Well, you are very underweight for your height, and that takes a toll on all parts of your body…” This is what I had feared, but also what I had known all along. She added, “You will need to gain weight to be fully healthy” I repeated this statement in my head several times. How could I possibly achieve this goal when part of me didn’t want to change? A big part of me didn’t want to see the transformations that I would see in front of the mirror. A big part of me didn’t want to alter my diet, and deprive myself of exercise, something that brings me so much pleasure in life. A big part of me was hesitant, but more importantly, scared.
This is when will power came to my side and held my hand through the process. Without it, I might have quit, I might have let it all go or given up. But instead, I persevered, knowing that in the long run, after much time, hard work, sadness, and optimism I would get somewhere and I would eventually reap the benefits. And I have gotten somewhere, a somewhere that is healthier, but not ideal. I still haven’t reached equilibrium, and although at times, discouraged and disheartened, I momentarily lose sight of my will power, it always returns to me and it never fails to influence me and assist me through the hardships. Like a good friend, will power has been loyal to me, and I will always appreciate its loyalty.
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