The Number One

Karlia - Hawthorne, California
Entered on June 20, 2007

Self-reliance and Independency, I believe in the number one. Webster defines one as, “being a single unit or thing”. I define it as being me.

I spent two years of my life trying to mold myself into what I thought people wanted me to be. Two years of being insecure, two years of depending on others to help me out, two years of being unhappy. Now I’m growing up, realizing that all I need is me. I believe that if others are going to attempt to mold you into what they see fits, then you don’t need them in your life.

Trying so hard to fit in, at times I would find myself lost. And for what? I think of it like this, in 10 years am I going to know even half of the people I know now? And the answer to that is most likely no.

Independency has taken me to a whole new level. I have discovered a love for myself. I believe in the words of Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez, “If I don’t love me I’m dead”. Being focused on everything but the “one” can often drive a person to lose that love for themselves, especially in high school. There is no greater gift in life than the gift of loving yourself. You don’t need anyone else to help you see that.

Being young us teenagers are always caught up in the ridiculous concept of friends or boyfriends or girlfriends. And along with all of this comes the pressure to fit in. The pressure to be the prettiest looking girl at school. The pressure to be the best all around athlete, or even the pressure to be smart. But never is the emphasis on the pressure to be “You”. Don’t get me wrong, I love each and every one of my friends, but I choose to not use them as a crutch when I have fallen.

I am now ending my junior year in high school. I still have numerous friends and many people that care about me. But in maturing during these past three years I have learned that I cannot put my everything and all of my dependence in the hands of others. I’ve got to look out for ME first, and worry about the rest later.

I believe in myself. Through whatever or whenever, I will always be here for me because I have no choice. I am me, I am solo, I am the number one.