This I Believe

H - Willcox, Arizona
Entered on June 18, 2007

Addiction’s Cure

I believe people are trying to fulfill a spiritual void by using drugs, alcohol, and sex. Almost everyone knows someone who is battling addiction. It doesn’t matter your background or economic status, it’s everywhere. It’s your neighbor, your sibling, a parent, a child, yourself, your spouse; it’s on TV, in songs you hear on the radio, it can be witnessed around almost every corner.

I was twelve when I started experimenting with alcohol, pot, and cigarettes. I was sixteen when I started having sex and I was twenty when I started using meth. Sex, drugs, and rock’n roll was something I grew up hearing. My father has been an alcoholic; and a drug addict since I can remember. My mother used to drink often; she was the fun party girl. It made it look fun.

I never knew I had a problem. Like so many people, I thought I was having a good time, you know, killing boredom. It wasn’t until I was 27 that my partying ways brought me a lot of trouble and I knew I had to make a choice. I had a nine year old boy who was old enough to realize and understand what was going on. It was at that time I decided with the help of law enforcement that I would go forty-two days into a rehabilitation center.

I have been sober for nearly five years. My son was the number one reason for me wanting to make the change but there was still something missing. There was still a void within. It has taken a long time to realize that I was spiritually bankrupt. I had disconnected with family and true friends and more importantly, myself. I finally realized I was going to have to teach myself how to love me again. It takes so much to do that after you feel the coils of your grave wrapped around your feet so long. You literally are trying to break the chains that have you in their grips.

I believe that I have been trying to fill my spiritual cup for a long time now. I believe there are many ways a person can fill their cup. It may be that you choose to love your child more than your addiction. It could be that you have to get away to find yourself again. Maybe it’s reconnecting with family or friends. Maybe it’s realizing that you have the power within to heal yourself. I believe we all are striving to fulfill our spiritual cup.