Believe in the moment
I believe in this moment, now, with whomever I’m with. Because that moment could be the last one we share.
There’s a date stuck in my head that you would think I would like to forget, but it would be dishonorable if I did. It was the day my grandpa died and changed the way I live my life everyday. I will never forget that day and it doesn’t bother me because he should be remembered and his death taught me a huge lesson in my life.
My grandpa and I shared special moments together that no one else could touch. He made me feel special in a way no one else could. He and I would fall asleep in his chair and I would fit perfectly between his arm and chest; curled up in my blanket. We could nap all day as long as it was just the two of us. We’d wake up and he’d make cheese sandwiches and cut them in a way only grandpa could. Or I would play barber and put pink curlers in his shiny, silver hair. The memories we shared are just untouchable thoughts in my mind, and that common place I used to go to is no longer there now that he is gone.
This huge event in my tiny little life was the way I learned about mortality. Mortality is something that teaches us to appreciate people now. The things happening now need to be appreciated and remembered forever. Those are the things that help us grow and leave us with that warm feeling we had at the time. My “now” with my grandpa was the cheese sandwiches. Sure, I can make a cheese sandwich and cut it just the way he did, but it will never be the same; as long as I hold on to that “thing” he did he will always be with me. So even little things like cheese sandwiches and curlers could be the “now” that we will hold on to forever.
When you lose a person—you lose the specifics of how you know not only that person, but yourself in context of that person.
We have to live each moment for now and for what it is in the present. We don’t have time to think about that past because by then it could be too late for what’s happening now. If we don’t believe in the moment when we are with people we care about, it could be lost forever. We will never know ourselves 30 years ago if we don’t take life serious now. Live life everyday for the moment because it can be taken away at anytime and we all want to have something to hold on to and remember forever.
I’ve learned that the people we surround ourselves with help define us as people and if we don’t realize that until it’s too late we will never truly know who we are. Because when they are gone they will take that part of us with them without us even knowing.
When my grandpa passed away he took with him the childish side of me. On that day I grew up and felt like I was forced to because I didn’t have my part of him with me anymore. So that day I didn’t only lose my grandpa I lost a part of me that I can only get a glimpse of when I enjoy one powerful cheese sandwich.
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