My heart is pounding, the wind is kissing my face, the blur of the road ahead of me, the sound of peace around me, all I hear is the music coming out of an object in my hand and the voice of my breathing in my head. The feeling is free, it is directing the pain away from the troubles of life and into a constricted pain that is focused and concrete. The feeling is running.
Running has been apart of my life for 4 years and I have loved and hated every minute of it. The agonizing pain, yet the feeling of releasing the pain of the troubles that I cannot control. The aches and the pain of training, yet the wonderful feeling when I lay my head on my pillow at night as I think of the pain that I endured, the pain that I conquered, and the ease that my muscles have laying in that soft bed. It is the feeling of satisfaction.
I believe in running. I believe that running is one of the best stress and pain relievers emotionally that I have ever had. Without it, I would be a stress-wreck. Wherever I am, what ever troubles come my way, I always have running to help me vent. It is my therapy.
I think that when I am running, whether it is a race, with my friends, or by myself, I have this motivation to take that next step, to beat that person ahead of me, or to make it to that next corner. It is about accomplishing what I have set out to do. Believe in myself that I have the power to control my pain. Whether the pain is the heat, the hard asphalt, my aching muscles, or something that kills me inside. The pain that comes with life. The loss of love, the loss of hope in life or in ourselves, or the loss of knowing that we must let go to the things in life that hold us back. I have the drive to control the pain in my body or in my heart.
I may sound like a control-freak, or someone who’s life is a mess. But the truth is that running makes me feel like everything is going to be ok, it helps me get my anger out when things go wrong, and it helps me express who I am. Running is apart of who I am, it helps shape me into who I will become, and it puts my mind to rest when it is going a million miles an hour.
Running is what I believe in. T believe that everyone should find some way to vent. Whether it is running, drawing, making music, cooking, dancing, whatever takes us to that other place. That place of rest, of peace, and a place of beauty and tranquility.
Who am I? I am runner.
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